Best SOUNDTRACK:
1. Halo 3:Recon(No doubt.)
2. Halo 2(not counting the industry whoring outside material)
3. Halo 3
4. Halo Wars
5. Halo 4
6. Halo 1
7. Halo:Reach(Sorry, Marty. Other than a few good ones, this shit is way too depressing.)

Best Single Player:
1. Halo 3:Recon(Clean sweep!)
2. Halo 2(still the biggest Halo game ever!)
3. Halo 3(Passenger Hornet, anyone?)
4. Halo 4
5. Halo 1
6. Halo:Reach
7. Halo Wars(Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I have no experience with RTS' and to quote Yahtzee, I just build the maximum of any random unit and steamroll the map, hoping I got it right.

Best Multiplayer(obviously depends on connection):

1. LAN=Halo 1/Live=Halo 3(Generals get free cheat pass)
2. LAN=Halo 3:Recon/Live=Halo 1(Xbox Connect, I assume)
3. LAN=Halo 3/Live=Halo 4(343i continues Bungie's Halo:Reach tradition, see below)
4. LAN=Halo 4/Live=Halo Wars(still looking for boosting partners, that's how bad it is. ;-))
5. LAN/Live=Halo:Reach(Bungie cheats for you; says 'screw it')
6. LAN=Wars(Does this even have La---hmm? I'm getting confirmation that it does.)/Live=Recon(Oh, the lag. The Endure AND Deja Vu lag...)
7. LAN/Live=Halo 2. Unforgivable. (Bungie says 'Cheating is bad, but we can't do anything about it, so we'll just glare at you and wag our fingers.)

I sense some anger! ;-)

In summary:
Halo 2: We can't punish you
Halo 3: We won't punish the 50's
Halo Reach/4: We'll just cheat for you and make it easier, huh?

Best Story:

1. Gotta give it to Halo 4.
2. Halo 2(Several times, especially during the opening of Sacred Icon, if I turned the lights off, I felt like I was watching the actual Halo movie.
3. Halo 3
4. Halo 3:Recon
5. Halo Wars(Though not entirely essential to the main Halo plot, it does have a good story attached to it regardless.)
6. Halo 1
7. Halo: Reach(Millions of us just bought Empire Strikes Back knowing Darth was the father. Sad.)

Best game for women's rights(not sexist, but what's the connection here?):

1. Halo:Reach (Of course! They did the whole campaign with male and female voices, a first!)
2. Halo Wars(Serina's a badass)
3. All
4. Others
5. In
6. Random
7. Order.

Best drinking minigame:

1. I
2. Don't
3. Drink
4. Because
5. I
6. Hate
7. Sociality!

Worst line of dialogue:

1. Halo:Reach--"Say the words, please." (I would have doomed ALL of humanity and smashed Cortana to bits just to double flip her off. Pompous, condescending bitch.)
2. Halo 2: "The Index is secure." ("I mean, thanks for saving me from certain death and/or losing humantiy's only chance of survival or anything.")
3. Halo 3:Recon: "Inside! Now!" (YOU'RE WELCOME!!!! FUCK!!) Alternatively, an honorable mention would be "Not now, Buck!", which does indeed strike a blow for women's rights. At death's door, she admits she needed to tell him more about everything. The crackle of the radio static doesn't even dissipate before she's immediately pulling that secrecy shit again. Wow.
4. Halo 3: "The rings will kill us all." God, this must have been an off day for Steve or something. NO feeling whatsoever. I mean, not even the normal numbness the Chief usually has. This is 4-in-the-morning, I-don't-wanna-do-this-shit drone. Listless.
5. Halo 4: "I rewrote your suit's firmware while you were out." Yep--thanks, 343i--that REALLY explains how she changed up his armor and nibbled off that codpiece. Yeah! That's exactly the explanation you promised us!
6. Halo 1. yes, the cave. I read up on it, the actual cave entrance wasn't supposed to be that obvious.
7. Finally, Halo Wars: "And for the record, I would have kicked your ass the first time, if the lady hadn't stopped me!" No, you wouldn't have. No, you would not have at all.

Time Spent Playing-
1. Automatically
2. Sorted
3. In
4. Reverse
5. Chronological
6. Order
7. Released

Sweetest Secret:

1. Sputnik--Halo 2(Oh, my fucking God.) Honorable Mention is Cowardly Grunt.
2. Finish The Fight Your Way--Halo 3
3. Tribute Room--Halo:Reach
4. Skulls/Flaming Warthog--Halo Wars
5. Rex!!--Halo 1. Honorable Mention is Siege(The first one, the one that's actually hard to get to)
6. Deja Vu Rocket Boost--Halo 3:Recon
7. Legendary Ending--Halo 4(So much shown and yet so little.)

Best Porno spinoff

1. Pics
2. And
3. Vids
4. Or
5. It
6. Didn't
7. Happen.

(I was planning to link actual Halo porn pictures(and in one case, an actual story) in here, but I reconsidered--that's probably going too far. ;-))

Coolest bug / feature

1. Theater Mode--Halo 3(Hey, this started my own business! Of course it's number 1!)
2. Bottomless Clip--Halo:Reach (moans pleasurably)
3. Backpack Reloading/New Skulls--Halo 1/Anniversary
4. VISR--Halo 3:Recon
5. Sword Cancelling--Halo 2
6. Ordnance Drops--Halo 4
7. Skulls--Halo Wars

Most awesome level

1. Two Betrayals--Halo 1/Anniversary
2. Coastal Highway--Halo 3:Recon
3. Infinity--Halo 4(BUNCHA Mantis fun.)
4. Tip of the Spear--Halo:Reach
5. Tie between The Ark and The Covenant--Halo 3(They're both just so damn good...)
6. Gravemind--Halo 2(No question.)
7. Cleansing--Halo Wars(Working at the car wash! Car wash, yeah!)

Worst level evar!

1. Lone Wolf--Halo:Reach, if it counts. It made me cry and I don't like playing games where I KNOW I'm gonna lose. If it doesn't, then Exodus. I don't feel this brings anything to the table.
2. Shutdown--Halo 4(Oh, God. The worst part of Regret combined with the length and repetition of Crow's Nest. Jesus.)
3. Cortana--Halo 3. NUFF SAID.
4. The Library--Halo 1. Fuck you.
5. Quarantine Zone--Halo 2. Fuck you, too.
6. Arcadia Outskirts--Halo Wars. (Such an enormous waste of time for insta-dead "calvary".)
7. There isn't a single level I hate in Halo 3:Recon. Sorry.

New one: Proudest Achievement

1. Vidmaster Challenge:Classic--Halo 3:Recon. Why Classic you ask? Because I'm one of the few badasses who DIDN'T complete it on the Uplift Reserve!
2. If They Came To Hear Me Beg--Halo:Reach. I was going to put A Monument To All Your Sins, but everyone here has that. Beg is a rarity, one that I got in 3 minutes!
3. Living Legend--Halo:Anniversary. Since I already knew this game up and down, I just decided to do the whole damn thing on Legendary. So how cool was it that during the end credits, I unlocked SIX achievements at once, AND an Avatar Award!
4. Decorated Soldier--Halo 2 Vista. Got that one legit. ;-)
5. Lone Wolf Legend--Halo 4. GOD, this was the hardest Legendary I've ever faced other than Halo 2! I honestly thought I might not be able to beat it!!
6. Annual!!--Halo 3
7. 2 Bugs Are Better Than 1--Halo Wars(LUUUUUUUUV Scarabs.)

Ranking of canoness

1. Canon
2. Doesn't
3. Mean
4. Porn
5. So
6. WHO
7. CARES?!?