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Re: Gender expectations
Date: 3/20/14 2:38 pm
In Response To: Gender expectations (Cody Miller)

: How is this damaging? With the exception of detached and tall, everything in
: that box is a positive trait. Everything except short and 'like a girl' is
: likewise negative trait.

: Should we not ENCOURAGE men to adopt positive traits, and avoid the negative
: ones?

: But that box is full of healthy traits… I seriously don't get this.

Yes, they're healthy traits in their own right, but they exist and are perpetuated as the ideal which masculine individuals have to aspire to in spite of men who fall "out of the box" and femininity. These traits exist solely to separate themselves from anything but a strict adherence to masculinity.

Strong and Tall takes into account a man's belief that he must be the strongest, opposed to weak and minuscule which they would attribute to a woman. Detached implies that men must remain emotionally void and bolster their image of strength to others, and ultimately, that they find themselves incapable of showing such emotions. Girls like him is pure and simple heteronormativity, the belief that heterosexuality is the norm and all other sexual orientations are set apart and made secondary. Money suggests the monetary privileges that come with being a man and the ease they find employment; Good style fits in with this one. And finally, good at video games but not obsessed insists that video games merely be a source of enjoyment, and not a beloved hobby, whereas highly physical sports, labor, etc. should fill that role.

These traits are just as harmful to the boys who zealously adhere to them into their adulthood as they are to those boys who have no desire or capability, and to the girls which these boys try their damndest to separate themselves from.

As someone who was raised as a boy for much of their childhood (well they tried), I know full well how dangerous these traits can be to a young person. I've always been a very feminine person, and despite being a bit of a tomboy, my personality never attempted to latch onto the traits in this box. Because of that, I typically found myself on the sides of that slide. I was very hesitant to do anything or seek confrontation (Backs Down), I was super awkward, and easily upset. Oh, yeah, and totally like a girl. Can't forget that one.

Anyhoo, my dad tried his hardest to inspire me to be a guy like him and his efforts never caught on. I knew from an early age that being a feminine boy was something that dearly set me apart from my male peers. At this time I hadn't realized that I was really a girl or that transgender was even a thing, so fitting into being "just another guy" was something I tried to do simply so I'd stop receiving so much unwanted angst and criticism. Even though I tried, it never worked because they kept seeing me as weak or "like a girl." My parents and little brother eventually stopped bothering trying to make me into a typical boy and just let me be whoever I was because they knew it would never happen.

Messages In This Thread

Gender expectationsCody Miller3/20/14 4:22 am
     Nail. Head. *NM*The Loot3/20/14 4:37 am
     Re: Gender expectationsKal3/20/14 10:24 am
           Re: Gender expectationsXenos3/20/14 11:41 am
                 Re: Gender expectationsKal3/20/14 11:55 am
                       Re: Gender expectationsXenos3/20/14 2:00 pm
           +1Arithmomaniac3/20/14 12:09 pm
     Re: Gender expectationsGrizzlei3/20/14 2:38 pm
           Re: Gender expectationsCody Miller3/20/14 5:30 pm
                 Response: Now with 1x more *GIF*Grizzlei3/20/14 6:24 pm
                       That last paragraphZackDark3/20/14 6:53 pm
                             Re: That last paragraphGrizzlei3/20/14 7:01 pm
                                   Re: That last paragraphZackDark3/20/14 10:18 pm
                       Re: Response: Now with 1x more *GIF*Cody Miller3/20/14 8:21 pm
                             Re: Response: Now with 1x more *GIF*Kal3/20/14 8:30 pm
                                   Re: Response: Now with 1x more *GIF*Cody Miller3/20/14 8:47 pm
                             Re: Response: Now with 1x more *GIF*Grizzlei3/20/14 9:06 pm
                                   Input from the fly on the wallSonofMacPhisto3/21/14 11:20 am
                                         Re: Input from the fly on the wallThe Loot3/22/14 7:46 pm

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