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First of all, about door-to-door sales--that's either the worst or best job in the world. I know this from experience. It can be done well and ethically, but most people fail at it, and for the most part that's because of a lack of adequate training and support (especially at the beginning, when almost everyone fails). Many fine men and women have not succeeded at sales jobs. There's no shame in that.
Second, although you don't enjoy the beneficence of Her Majesty, Americans rank first in the world in terms of giving time and money, and you live in the ninth most generous state in the country. There are many public and private organizations that can help you. Seraph has already mentioned churches, and that's a great idea. If you have been as diligent as you say regarding looking for jobs, you should be able to collect unemployment. You can apply here or call 1-877-841-9617.
Regarding looking for jobs, you might try the Unemployment Career Center Office
in Greenville.
3101 Bismarck Street
Greenville, NC 27834
Phone: 252.355.9067
Jobs Line: 800.768.5627
Fax: 252.355.9075
Mon – Fri 8:30 AM – 5:00 PM
Regarding housing, here are some resources:
Greenville Community Shelters
207 Manhattan Avenue
Greenville, NC 27834
252-752-0829
emergency shelter, transitional housing, outreach
Housing Authority Of The City Of Greenville
1103 Broad Street
Greenville, NC 27834
(252) 329-4000
Housing Authority, Low Income Affordable Housing, Public Housing
Quality Housing Assistance Foundation
5559 Nc 43 S
Greenville, NC 27858
(252)439-8545
Non Profit Organization that provides housing assistance
Clearpoint Financial Solutions, Inc.
315 Clifton St., Suite G
Greenville, NC 27858
877-877-1995
Agency that provides HUD Approved Housing Assistance Programs
Greenville Housing Development Corporation
1103 Broad Street
Greenville, NC 27834
252-329-4000-9.
Agency that provides HUD Approved Housing Assistance Programs
I want to tackle the biggest issue you raise in your post. The fact that you said you'll be dead in month, whether you're joking or not, I take as serious business. I'm making an assumption that you're fairly young and healthy and haven't received a terminal diagnosis, so with that out of the way, I'll say with a large amount of certainty that you'll be alive in a month, and your perspective will be different than it is today. I'll go further and say that you'll be alive ten years from now. You may have a family of your own, and you'll look back at this time and wonder at your courage, marvel at your resourcefulness, and perhaps even have some gratitude for what you learned from this experience and how it made you who you have become. (Not only that, but you'll have many fond memories of playing Halo and Destiny with us!)
Ever hear of Viktor Frankl? He watched his family get slaughtered by Nazis, but while he was going through this, he imagined where he would be in the future, and, in the process, developed a school of psychotherapy based on his insights. He imagined himself teaching these insights. One of his biggest ideas is that we each have the freedom to choose how we respond to experience. Check out his book, Man's Search for Meaning, at the library. That book helped me get through a very rough time.
I hope that you will try to imagine your future self in a positive place, and that you'll begin writing the story of how you will get there. If you do find yourself in despair, though, call 252-758-4357.
Please promise me you will make this call if you find yourself without hope. You've been a valued member of the community and we want you back soon. Even if you don't get internet access right away, drop by the library, log on, and let us know how you're doing.
You're in my prayers, Richard.
Kermit