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Re: DogTag Origins Comic
Date: 4/23/14 3:06 pm
In Response To: Re: DogTag Origins Comic (Quirel)

: *Sees DEEP NNN's review*

: Huh. Harsh.

: Anyhow, Melissa's bio was a pretty dull read. That's actually a common
: problem with military sci-fi; you are summarizing an entire career and
: then drowning it in Pentagon jargon. It sounds bland, and it's easy to get
: cliched.

: So, instead of summarizing her entire career, just state where she was born
: and stick to two or three key engagements in her life. In this case, I
: would recommend focusing on her Spartan III training, her deployment with
: Quiver, and the training of Spartan IVs. Clean the bio up, give it
: structure, and get rid of those run-on sentences.

: Anyhow, your artwork is really good! My only problem is that Melissa's hair
: is way too long and poofy to be practical.

Yeah I based her Data file in the style of how 343 did Fire Team Majestic's data file. I plan on fleshing them out more when I finish the rest of the team data files.
She usually has her hair constrained when her helmet is on to keep it from getting in the way.

It isn't really noted (as it would just be a waste of panel space.) but when she took her helmet off in the comic it pulled the constraint on her hair off. The poofiness is from never really shaping it and the helmet causing the dreaded "Helmet Hair"

Messages In This Thread

DogTag Origins ComicHalochief894/23/14 1:33 am
     Re: DogTag Origins ComicDEEP NNN4/23/14 8:10 am
           Re: DogTag Origins ComicHalochief894/23/14 2:17 pm
                 Re: DogTag Origins ComicDEEP NNN4/23/14 3:26 pm
                       Re: DogTag Origins ComicQuirel4/23/14 3:45 pm
                       Re: DogTag Origins ComicHalochief894/23/14 3:51 pm
     Re: DogTag Origins ComicQuirel4/23/14 3:00 pm
           Re: DogTag Origins ComicHalochief894/23/14 3:06 pm
                 Re: DogTag Origins ComicQuirel4/23/14 3:31 pm
     Re: DogTag Origins ComicTDSpiral4/23/14 3:05 pm
           Re: DogTag Origins ComicHalochief894/23/14 3:13 pm

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