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Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackals
By:Rockslider
Date: 10/11/13 11:18 am

So, I've spotted another appearance of Halo in an old TV series. Last time it was The Twilight Zone, this time it's something called Threshold, an alien invasion sci-fi series from 2005 which got quickly cancelled. I only just bumped into it on YouTube - never heard of it before.

In episode 5, Shock, Halo turns up at 29:23. As soon as the scene started, my ears perked up because I recognized the sound of an H1 Warthog. In a conference room a techie guy is at a keyboard on the large central table, and several feet away diagonally off to his left, there's a big screen on the wall. It's a terrible arrangement because the screen is at about 45 degrees to him, which I think would take a lot of getting used to (I couldn't put up with it myself), and also the keyboard is too high so he's probably gonna do his wrists in as well as getting eye and neck strain.

He appears to be on the Blood Gulch multiplayer map. In order to signal to the viewers that he's playing a videogame, he's tapping a few buttons, even though he's only actually driving in a pretty straight line. I'm not sure his fingers are even in the right places, but I don't play Halo PC so I'll leave that analysis to someone else. The button-tap sounds don't seem to match his fingers too well, so I expect they've just been added in later. Actually he doesn't look at all sure what he's doing with his fingers, and he's also intermittently looking at the keyboard as if to check that he's pressing the right things.

Anyway, in walks big cheese hotshot Carla Gugino. And yes, that's already a good reason to watch the show. I mean, if you ever saw her as sexy US Marshal Karen Sisco in the 2003 series of the same name (insanely cancelled early by your standard TV executive dolts), you've probably made a keen point of watching everything else she appears in too. But I digress.

"Who's winning?" she asks. Poor fella seems to be having a hard time of things, and sighs. "The bad guys" he says. But it seems that our Carla knows her stuff. "If you stick to the north side of the bunker, you can pick off the Jackals one at a time" she replies casually after sauntering across the screen. Hapless techie is clearly impressed with her all-round ability. I mean, not only is this woman a world expert in crisis management and repelling alien invasions, she's also a complete babe and knows Halo inside out! You don't get that combination every day.

But hold on a minute. I don't play a lot of multiplayer - ok none at all - but I'm pretty sure you don't fight covies on those maps. Seems to me that either hotshot Carla is messing with his dizzy little head, or this is a major anomaly!

At this point they have a bit of a heart to heart about the guy's forthcoming marriage. As she takes a seat, you can see on the screen that the player is suddenly out of the hog, even though he was cruising along a split second ago. In front of a base and holding a fuel rod gun, the Spartan moves a little, even though the guy is clearly now focused on Carla (and he'd be a fool not to, let's face it).

In a short while the chat concludes and she wishes him "Good luck with the Jackals" as she gets up to leave. Just after he thanks her, you can hear the sound of a fuel rod gun firing, even though he's still not even back on the game yet. Huh, this cheater must have someone else playing for him! That's pretty much confirmed as we get a view of the screen, where the player is now anomalously wielding a rocket launcher (what happened to the fuel rod gun?) and moving. Now come on, this is ridiculous. With Carla Gugino having only just got up to head for the door, you can't tell me this guy is gonna be getting right back to his keyboard again. Not gonna happen!

Anyway, the view stays on the screen, and from the Spartan emblem at top right you can now see that this is some version of Slayer. There's no sign of anyone with a fuel rod gun, despite the firing sounds. You can hear some chain-gunning too. The player advances a little then sends a rocket towards what looks like an empty Warthog over yonder. It's now apparent why this guy was having such a hard time before. He hasn't yet picked up rule number one. In order to kill enemies, you must first be aiming at them. Silly fool has been shooting at nothing all this time, so it's no wonder he was having a hard time with those Jackals.

We're not quite done yet though. A little later at 31:27, we're in another scene. Techie doofus is with the team's medical expert; none other than Data from Star Trek. Ok Brent Spiner, but c'mon that's Data dammit. Techie's previously poor eyesight has mysteriously improved after a close encounter of the alien kind, and Data asks if he's noticed any other changes. "Halo" he replies, head in hand. Data's never heard of it though, so an explanation is needed. "Uhh this videogame that I play sometimes. Er, Doctor Caffrey gave me some pointers and they helped a little bit but, last night, I broke through every level. It's like my hand-eye coordination is off the charts."

Blimey. Broke through every level? Was that in multiplayer then, with all those tricky Jackals? Good work Mr Doofus!

I could be wrong, but I think the main conclusion we can draw from this is that if you want to get real good at Halo, it's jolly useful to get exposed to some weird-ass extra-terrestrial mojo. So, let that be your tip for the day. Oh, and I'll throw in another one for free. If you're playing on Blood Gulch, watch out for the Jackals!


Messages In This Thread

Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/11/13 11:18 am
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalscB55710/11/13 3:06 pm
           I probably didn't need to leave the OP up there. *NM*cB55710/11/13 3:07 pm
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsGeneral Vagueness10/12/13 1:15 am
           Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/12/13 4:21 am
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackalsasa10/13/13 1:26 pm
           Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/13/13 2:30 pm
                 Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackalsasa10/13/13 3:12 pm
                       H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'Rockslider10/13/13 5:58 pm
                             Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'cB55710/13/13 6:06 pm
                                   Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'Rockslider10/13/13 7:00 pm
                             Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'asa10/14/13 10:46 am

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