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Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackals
Date: 10/11/13 3:06 pm
In Response To: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackals (Rockslider)

: So, I've spotted another appearance of Halo in an old TV series. Last time
: it was The Twilight Zone, this time it's something called Threshold , an
: alien invasion sci-fi series from 2005 which got quickly cancelled. I only
: just bumped into it on YouTube - never heard of it before.

: In episode 5, Shock , Halo turns up at 29:23 . As soon as the scene
: started, my ears perked up because I recognized the sound of an H1
: Warthog. In a conference room a techie guy is at a keyboard on the large
: central table, and several feet away diagonally off to his left, there's a
: big screen on the wall. It's a terrible arrangement because the screen is
: at about 45 degrees to him, which I think would take a lot of getting used
: to (I couldn't put up with it myself), and also the keyboard is too high
: so he's probably gonna do his wrists in as well as getting eye and neck
: strain.

: He appears to be on the Blood Gulch multiplayer map. In order to signal to
: the viewers that he's playing a videogame, he's tapping a few buttons,
: even though he's only actually driving in a pretty straight line. I'm not
: sure his fingers are even in the right places, but I don't play Halo PC so
: I'll leave that analysis to someone else. The button-tap sounds don't seem
: to match his fingers too well, so I expect they've just been added in
: later. Actually he doesn't look at all sure what he's doing with his
: fingers, and he's also intermittently looking at the keyboard as if to
: check that he's pressing the right things.

: Anyway, in walks big cheese hotshot Carla Gugino. And yes, that's already a
: good reason to watch the show. I mean, if you ever saw her as sexy US
: Marshal Karen Sisco in the 2003 series of the same name (insanely
: cancelled early by your standard TV executive dolts), you've probably made
: a keen point of watching everything else she appears in too. But I
: digress.

: "Who's winning?" she asks. Poor fella seems to be having a hard
: time of things, and sighs. "The bad guys" he says. But it seems
: that our Carla knows her stuff. "If you stick to the north side of
: the bunker, you can pick off the Jackals one at a time" she replies
: casually after sauntering across the screen. Hapless techie is clearly
: impressed with her all-round ability. I mean, not only is this woman a
: world expert in crisis management and repelling alien invasions, she's
: also a complete babe and knows Halo inside out! You don't get that
: combination every day.

: But hold on a minute. I don't play a lot of multiplayer - ok none at all -
: but I'm pretty sure you don't fight covies on those maps. Seems to me that
: either hotshot Carla is messing with his dizzy little head, or this is a
: major anomaly!

: At this point they have a bit of a heart to heart about the guy's forthcoming
: marriage. As she takes a seat, you can see on the screen that the player
: is suddenly out of the hog, even though he was cruising along a split
: second ago. In front of a base and holding a fuel rod gun, the Spartan
: moves a little, even though the guy is clearly now focused on Carla (and
: he'd be a fool not to, let's face it).

: In a short while the chat concludes and she wishes him "Good luck with
: the Jackals" as she gets up to leave. Just after he thanks her, you
: can hear the sound of a fuel rod gun firing, even though he's still not
: even back on the game yet. Huh, this cheater must have someone else
: playing for him! That's pretty much confirmed as we get a view of the
: screen, where the player is now anomalously wielding a rocket launcher
: (what happened to the fuel rod gun?) and moving. Now come on, this is
: ridiculous. With Carla Gugino having only just got up to head for the
: door, you can't tell me this guy is gonna be getting right back to his
: keyboard again. Not gonna happen!

: Anyway, the view stays on the screen, and from the Spartan emblem at top
: right you can now see that this is some version of Slayer. There's no sign
: of anyone with a fuel rod gun, despite the firing sounds. You can hear
: some chain-gunning too. The player advances a little then sends a rocket
: towards what looks like an empty Warthog over yonder. It's now apparent
: why this guy was having such a hard time before. He hasn't yet picked up
: rule number one. In order to kill enemies, you must first be aiming at
: them . Silly fool has been shooting at nothing all this time, so it's no
: wonder he was having a hard time with those Jackals.

: We're not quite done yet though. A little later at 31:27 , we're in another
: scene. Techie doofus is with the team's medical expert; none other than
: Data from Star Trek. Ok Brent Spiner, but c'mon that's Data dammit.
: Techie's previously poor eyesight has mysteriously improved after a close
: encounter of the alien kind, and Data asks if he's noticed any other
: changes. "Halo" he replies, head in hand. Data's never heard of
: it though, so an explanation is needed. "Uhh this videogame that I
: play sometimes. Er, Doctor Caffrey gave me some pointers and they helped a
: little bit but, last night, I broke through every level. It's like my
: hand-eye coordination is off the charts."

: Blimey. Broke through every level? Was that in multiplayer then, with all
: those tricky Jackals? Good work Mr Doofus!

: I could be wrong, but I think the main conclusion we can draw from this is
: that if you want to get real good at Halo, it's jolly useful to get
: exposed to some weird-ass extra-terrestrial mojo. So, let that be your
: tip for the day. Oh, and I'll throw in another one for free. If you're
: playing on Blood Gulch, watch out for the Jackals!

TV Writers: "Technology is hard......"

Messages In This Thread

Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/11/13 11:18 am
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalscB55710/11/13 3:06 pm
           I probably didn't need to leave the OP up there. *NM*cB55710/11/13 3:07 pm
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsGeneral Vagueness10/12/13 1:15 am
           Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/12/13 4:21 am
     Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackalsasa10/13/13 1:26 pm
           Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch JackalsRockslider10/13/13 2:30 pm
                 Re: Of Carla Gugino and Blood Gulch Jackalsasa10/13/13 3:12 pm
                       H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'Rockslider10/13/13 5:58 pm
                             Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'cB55710/13/13 6:06 pm
                                   Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'Rockslider10/13/13 7:00 pm
                             Re: H1 level 2 in 'We Can Be Heroes'asa10/14/13 10:46 am

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