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Re: Anyone willing to look over my Machinima scrip
Date: 10/27/13 12:31 am
In Response To: Anyone willing to look over my Machinima script? (MatthewDratt)

At the very beginning, there's a bunch of grammar problems It's not anything particular that's major, but there's a ton of little problems. For example: "We will retake our planets back." What the heck? It should be just "We will take our planets back." While there's a number of these at the very start, I think after that it gets a bit better, though I've only read about five pages of it (no offense, I just don't have the time right now; maybe some other time I'll give it a more thorough perusing). Also, find a better name for Construct. Seriously, you can do a lot better than that. For inspiration, pry the depths of ancient Greek, Norse, and Egyptian mythology, and also maybe look into the Roman renamings of the Greek gods. Ancient mythology can rarely serve you wrong when it comes to naming stuff.


Messages In This Thread

Anyone willing to look over my Machinima script?MatthewDratt10/26/13 9:32 pm
     Re: Anyone willing to look over my Machinima scripGrizzlei10/26/13 11:19 pm
     Re: Anyone willing to look over my Machinima scripPerseusSpartacus10/27/13 12:31 am
     ThanksssMatthewDratt10/27/13 1:16 am

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