lol... that is hilarious. But what about the two main players?
The other units would include:
Al Gore: Attack causes Gore to launch into discussion of Equadorian economic policy as related to industrialization impact on local ecosystems, causing any units within a 20-foot radius to be paralyzed. His taunt would be to scoff derisively.
Dubya: Throws lethal-injection needles at people while shouting "This man has receiveried a fair and accuratable trial accordatating to Texan's law!" Special ability would cause him to get drunk and mow down enemies in an erratically-moving car.
Whaddaya think?
-Ares™