Well, there was this guy named Wyrd, and he like, created all the shite, and had this son, Segoth, but then this other guy came along and chopped off Segoth's head, and down on the planet there was this good hero and bad hero, and they made this thing called the cycle, and one kills the other alternately every thousand years, and there was a good dude called Teriecies (sp?), and he got killed by the leveler, who is a big evil transient divinity, and then he was reborn as an evil d00d, Moagim, who was killed by this light hero Connacht, but then Connacht like, vanished, and came back as Balor, and destroyed a buncha stuff, and the light found this disembodied head, which was kinda creepy, out in the desert, and it had them go do stuff like get the total codex, which is a big book with the fate of every living being written in it, and then they went and got the watcher's arm, and you kinda think about how people seem to lose a lot of their body parts in this game, and archers make arrowheads out of the bone from his arm, and shoot him with it, and he turns to stone, and a buncha zerks run up and kill him, or not, that's still kinda in debate, and then Alric gets kidnapped, and taken out to the desert, and some heroes rescue him, and he kills Sinis, a shade, and then they're in forest heart, and they're KIKING TRO ASS MB, but Soulblighter comes in and pulls them all into the tain, which is this portal to a mirror universe, and they run around in caves like total blundering IDJITS, but they find a way out, by shattering the tain, and then the dwarves fight to retake one of their towns, and then they all go north, and Balor threatens you, and then Alric manages to get an Eblis stone, which is a magical thingamajig, and it gave him all the power he needed to kill Balor, but then they needed to chuck his head into the great devoid or else he would come back to life, god knows why, but Soulblighter was waiting for you there, and almost stopped you, unless you suck at playing myth, in which case, he DID stop you and you never finished the solo scenario, but he turns into crows and flies away just as this HUGE-ASS explosion shoots up outta the devoid, and then it's like, 60 years later, and Soulblighter is back, and the whole game is pretty much running around trying to kill him, and you get to meet the Deceiver, who's this fallen lord who's still alive, and shiver, who's ugly as a water buffalo who's drunk outta the wrong water hole too many times, because Soulblighter resurrected her with tramist's mirror, which is this magical artifact, and the Deceiver and shiver have a showdown, and shiver goes BOOM and blows herself and the Deceiver apart, leaving your hopelessly mortal guys to find their way back OUT of the desert, not to mention what they just went through to get INTO it, but then Alric, who's still alive, finds Soulblighter, and traps him inside this volcano, and you gotta go all the way around this spiral thing while getting yer butt whooped, and when you get to Soulblighter, Alric stands there and plays with his magic cigarette lighter while you try to fight off hordes of fetch and kryds, and you sit there and get your butt kicked until Alric decides that he can FINALLY kill Soulblighter, and then Soulblighter falls into this big pool of lava, and then the volcano starts to erupt, and when you think about it, your dudes would be turned into "leg of fried derf", because you need to go all the way back DOWN the spiral while the lava is coming UP, but Alric still survives anyway, since he's the hero, and they all sit around dumbly and watch the volcano erupt, and think of how purty the clouds are, and then a wild kryd comes up and eats you. At least in my book.
-Joy's really pooped alter ego
