: Dear The Summoner,
: Hiii!! How ARE you? Sparky misses you dreadfully; I walk
: him every afternoon but he still mopes around the
: house. I think I'll rip his soul out.
: So sorry to hear about the stink. Say, have you tried
: cutting your nose off? Worked for me! Oh, and try
: smacking the Myrks on the muzzle with a newspaper if
: they get too rambunctious. If a newspaper doesn't
: work, try a broadsword.
: Just thought you'd like to know--I burned your home and
: the rest of your village down to the ground, and
: cursed the bone-choked earth that it might never be
: fruitful again. But don't worry, I moved all your
: stuff out first. I borrowed your bean bag until you
: get back; I hope you don't mind!
: Keeping the bed warm for you,
: Damas XOXOXO
: P.S. If an old guy comes down and starts talking like
: Sean Connery at you, kill him.
Dear Soulblighter,
Day 124, more of the same. I'm up to 507 myrkridia and 14 giant myrkridia. We are running despreately short on food here. We only have 1,230,078 irrestablely cute ewoks, 4 dozen sheep, 1 CEO, and 251 helpless peasants left. I noticed that we're on a first name basis now but I think we should keep our relationship strictly professional. Thanks for the tip about Sean Conary, the myrks killed Sean and took almost 2 minutes to eat him. They're hungry little fellas.
Yours Truely,
The Summoner XOXOXO
P.S. Do you think there's anything you can do about the TV reception here?
Intercepted and faithfully submitted by-
-neomorpheous-
