: Dear Soulblighter,
: Day 122. I resurrected my 432nd Myrkridia today and my
: 14th Myrkridian Giant. Food as always is running low
: due to these wretched beasts and the dampness in the
: air coupled with the stench of these creatures is
: making my stomach churn. With any luck, I will be out
: of this horrid place and back to my home by the start
: of Summer.
: Yours truly,
: The Summoner
Dear The Summoner,
Hiii!! How ARE you? Sparky misses you dreadfully; I walk him every afternoon but he still mopes around the house. I think I'll rip his soul out.
So sorry to hear about the stink. Say, have you tried cutting your nose off? Worked for me! Oh, and try smacking the Myrks on the muzzle with a newspaper if they get too rambunctious. If a newspaper doesn't work, try a broadsword.
Just thought you'd like to know--I burned your home and the rest of your village down to the ground, and cursed the bone-choked earth that it might never be fruitful again. But don't worry, I moved all your stuff out first. I borrowed your bean bag until you get back; I hope you don't mind!
Keeping the bed warm for you,
Damas XOXOXO
P.S. If an old guy comes down and starts talking like Sean Connery at you, kill him.
