Re: Alric's Speech

Posted By: Seraph (adsl-64-160-44-229.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net)
Date: 2/20/2003 at 8:49 p.m.

In Response To: Re: Alric's Speech (Elder Ach Tobi)

: The "You do not"s sound somewhat redundant and
: emotionless. Maybe put the word "and" in
: there. And add the word hope in with the race cause
: and blood thing.

: other than that, great job, excellent choice of words,
: and good fortune to you.

I agree it sounds hopeless, but I think its well done.

And Alric is doing this for a prayer of havign a hope of a fighting chance, so I don't think hope would enter in...he's problem not in a very hope expecting mood.

Well done zeph! Rah!

Messages In This Thread

• Alric's Speech
  zeph (194.125.156.78) -- 2/20/2003 at 12:58 p.m.
  • Re: Alric's Speech
    Myrmidonnes (hor-ramsay208.hor.ucl.ac.uk) -- 2/20/2003 at 3:26 p.m.
  • Re: Alric's Speech
    Elder Ach Tobi (24.54.215.225) -- 2/20/2003 at 8:14 p.m.
    • Re: Alric's Speech
      Seraph (adsl-64-160-44-229.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net) -- 2/20/2003 at 8:49 p.m.
      • Re: Alric's Speech
        Doom (207.239.12.200) -- 2/21/2003 at 9:28 a.m.
    • Re: Alric's Speech
      Doom (207.239.12.200) -- 2/21/2003 at 9:25 a.m.
      • Alric's Speech
        zeph (194.125.156.90) -- 2/21/2003 at 12:25 p.m.
        • Re: Alric's Speech
          Martel (inktomi2-ltn.server.ntl.com) -- 2/21/2003 at 3:50 p.m.
          • Re: Alric's Speech
            Deathknight (the same) (cache10-gw.israsrv.net.il) -- 2/23/2003 at 11:31 a.m.
            • Re: Alric's Speech
              Doom (207.239.12.200) -- 2/26/2003 at 1:20 p.m.
              • Re: Alric's Speech
                Myrmidonnes (hor-ramsay208.hor.ucl.ac.uk) -- 2/26/2003 at 3:52 p.m.

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