: I came up with a Fan Fic of Alric's speech to the 2200
: guys who marched to Balor's fortress as a diversion.
: You will march into the city of death and will
: face and army of unimaginable power.
: You do not die for the Glory of an empire
: You do not die for the Glory of a King
: You do not die for the Glory of your kin
: You do not die for your love
: You do not die for your family
: You do not die for your honour
: You do not die for the survival of a nation
: You do not die for the survival of a Monarchy
: You do not die for the survival of a religion.
: You do not die for a reward in the eternal life.
: You do not die for a reward to your family.
: You do not die for a reward of a hero's funeral.
: You die for your race, for your cause, for your blood,
: you die for yourselves and you die, with the grace of
: kings.
: Forever shall you be remebered as the greatest of heroes.
: I am humbled in your presence.
The "You do not"s sound somewhat redundant and emotionless. Maybe put the word "and" in there. And add the word hope in with the race cause and blood thing.
other than that, great job, excellent choice of words, and good fortune to you.
