Yeah. Pretty cool thing you've done, ARcher. A little frightening but still cool.
I am sure you can add a bunch of stuff:
A map would be nice.
And some pictures.
And then a more detailed and extensive log on what happened. Since there is a lot to get once the Fat Guy started writing in his journey, or however you spell that.
The earlier parts as in what happened long long ago I can understand "we" don't have too much information regarding that, but did you try to make the sentences as short as possible?
Anyway: great job, keep it up. I am sure the other freak...cough cough ...really cool guys at bungie.org will be glad to assist you.