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Halo series remaster change notes
By:Cody Miller
Date: 6/3/14 3:05 pm

I got some inside info about some of the changes to the planned Halo 1-4 remaster!

Dialogue changes:

•"This cave is definitely not a natural formation".
•Jorge now pronounces Ma'am correctly.
•Miranda's voice actress changed from Lacey Chabert to Mila Kunis.
•"Squad leaders are requesting a rally point, where should they go?", "To combat evolved".
•Grunt voices have been changed to an intern mimicking Joe. A regrettable but necessary change.

Graphical Changes

•Everything will have real time reflections and stencil shading
•The Halo 4 armor will be retconned into something smaller and more streamlined for no real reason.
•All games will still not render at 1080p60 on the Xbox One despite being 10 years old or more, so get over it.
•The assault rifle will now properly point at threshold in Halo 3.
•The PoA will change sizes just to screw with Stephen Loftus.

Game Changes

•Pancam will be enabled on all games, except the last cutscene in Halo where the MC takes off his helmet, because what fun would that be?
•Added additional bones to collect, such as the tibia, ulna, and incus.
•Captain Keyes now speaks fluent Sangheili, making his overhearing of the guards talking about Halo not completely fucking stupid.
•The needler has been toned down in Halo 1, and significantly buffed in Halo 2.
•Jackal snipers now zero hit kill on Legendary.
•Added 1000G worth of achievements spread out across the games, each with a stupid meme somewhere in the title.
•The cheyneymania medal has been put back in!
•In Halo 3, trip mines now blow up warthogs in one hit like they did in the beta, because that was outrageously cool.


•Every game gets XBLA multiplayer except Halo 1, because you assholes won't stop glitching out of the maps on sidewinder.
•Dedicated servers! No more host advantage.
•You are no longer given the option to boot someone when they make a tiny mistake for the first time by killing you with a wayward grenade when it's obviously an accident.
•You can now use the service tags CODY and C0DY in all games.
•Firefight will now get faster and faster until you finally beat it, in which case new Mombassa launches into space and you win.

Waypoint integration

•Post game carnage reports are gone; you speedrunners have twitch for that.
•Every time you beat a level, you can automatically tweet this to your friends!
•API hooks for popular fansites such as HBO to add like and share buttons.


•The box art will be pretty mediocre. We couldn't afford Craig Mullins or Eddie Smith, so we'll use a photoshopped screenshot from in game.
•No sword flying or glitching or bxring of any kind is left in Halo 2; you guys had your fun.

Get hype!

Messages In This Thread

Halo series remaster change notesCody Miller6/3/14 3:05 pm
     Re: Halo series remaster change notesKermit6/3/14 4:45 pm
           Another episode of "Kermit hates Halo" in progresspadraig086/3/14 6:03 pm
           Re: Halo series remaster change notesPhoenix_92866/3/14 6:19 pm
           Removing the Arbiter's most iconic line?JDQuackers6/3/14 7:43 pm
                 Re: Removing the Arbiter's most iconic line?thebruce06/4/14 9:31 am
           Re: Halo series remaster change noteszofinda6/3/14 8:14 pm
     Re: Halo series remaster change notesLouis Wu6/3/14 4:49 pm
           Re: Halo series remaster change notesCody Miller6/3/14 4:51 pm
                 Ah. Okay. *NM*Louis Wu6/3/14 5:59 pm
           Re: Halo series remaster change notesVAVA Mk26/3/14 9:09 pm
                 Re: Halo series remaster change noteszofinda6/3/14 9:26 pm
                       Re: Halo series remaster change noteszanezavin16/3/14 11:14 pm
                       Re: Halo series remaster change notesCody Miller6/5/14 7:34 pm
     Re: Halo series remaster change noteszanezavin16/3/14 7:47 pm
     Re: Poor Loftus...Hyokin6/3/14 9:30 pm
           Re: Poor Loftus...Stephen L. (SoundEffect)6/4/14 10:02 pm
     Re: Halo series remaster change notesgamerguy20026/4/14 1:27 am
     Re: Halo series remaster change notesuberfoop6/4/14 1:52 am
     Re: Halo series remaster change notesMorpheus6/4/14 8:44 am
     Hunter Moon and Forerunner Tankscarab6/4/14 3:01 pm
     Re: I'll only play under if these are also added.Hyokin6/6/14 1:21 am
           This sounds good.breitzen6/6/14 12:44 pm

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