: Dialogue changes: •"This cave is definitely not a natural
: formation".

Just remove it entirely.

: •Jorge now pronounces Ma'am correctly.

Finally I can stop looking like an idiot.

: •Miranda's voice actress changed from Lacey Chabert to Mila Kunis.

Good one!

: •"Squad leaders are requesting a rally point, where should they
: go?", "To combat evolved".

Equally terrible, but better since it's a parody.

: •Grunt voices have been changed to an intern mimicking Joe. A regrettable but
: necessary change.

HEY!

: •The PoA will change sizes just to screw with Stephen Loftus.

That'll just kill him.

: Game Changes

: •Pancam will be enabled on all games, except the last cutscene in Halo where
: the MC takes off his helmet, because what fun would that be?

It'll be fun looking at that 2nd helmet, sure.

: •Added additional bones to collect, such as the tibia, ulna, and incus.

Don't forget the pelvis and coccyx. ;-)

: •Captain Keyes now speaks fluent Sangheili, making his overhearing of the
: guards talking about Halo not completely fucking stupid.

XD

: •The needler has been toned down in Halo 1, and significantly buffed in Halo
: 2.

I'd rather have them both be too powerful.

: •Jackal snipers now zero hit kill on Legendary.

This one I don't get--are you saying they'll die the second we see them, or WE'LL die the second they spawn? If it's the former, then hallelujah. If it's the latter, that's in there already.

: •Added 1000G worth of achievements spread out across the games, each with a
: stupid meme somewhere in the title.

See: Halo Reach

: •In Halo 3, trip mines now blow up warthogs in one hit like they did in the
: beta, because that was outrageously cool.

Not to mention it made sense.

: Multiplayer

: •Every game gets XBLA multiplayer except Halo 1, because you assholes won't
: stop glitching out of the maps on sidewinder.

Pretty sure it's like that already.

: •Dedicated servers! No more host advantage.

Trust me, they'll find a way.

: •Firefight will now get faster and faster until you finally beat it, in which
: case new Mombassa launches into space and you win.

What, like the Sonic 3 bonus stages?

: Waypoint integration

: •Post game carnage reports are gone; you speedrunners have twitch for that.
: •Every time you beat a level, you can automatically tweet this to your
: friends!
: •API hooks for popular fansites such as HBO to add like and share buttons.

No to like...just all of that.

Clapping.