Your story seems to reveal your distrust for government. I.E. Inoculation data being misused, staged Covie attacks.

I do not like the quasi Spartan II status you have assigned her. She is not a S II and never could be.

I do not like the staged Covenant attack story arc you suggested.

I do not like how you inject her into the S IV training program with some intent that she is going to discipline the recruits into being better Spartans.

The fights with Sarah Palmer are telling for me. You seem to be in the Palmer hater group. So much so, you want to make a new story where your girl comes in, beats up on Palmer and with, I suspect, an intent for her to become the new leader, turn all of the S IV's into S II's leaving the world a better place and then Halo 5 or 6 will be saved.

I put aside all of the grammatical stuff and tried to see if your story had merit. To me, it does not.