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: Heard a good joke recently?
Two cows were sitting in a pasture. One said to the other, "Man this Mad Cow disease sounds bad." The other one replies, "Yeah, I'm just glad I'm a penguin."
This probably seemed more relevant when this Reader's Digest came out 8 years ago...
: On a job hunt?
Always. Don't remind me. Every new day just adds to the pile of overwhelming failure.
: Any babies popping out soon?
I prefer puppies to these creepy, wrinkly human spawn.
: Get a new pair of sexy and/or comfortable underwear?
I actually need to buy some underwear the next time I can afford it. The waistbands are getting worn out.
So, I'm either getting fat or these things just weren't supposed last through high school, college, and unemployment...